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    #WifeNotCook - Do Most Ladies Even Know The Benefits of Being Married? "Real Women Cook" by Frank Susu Okafor

    In honour of the just concluded International Women’s Day in which I

    appreciate all positive women in my Life, but I still need to drop my
    point of view on this trending matter #WifeNotCook.



    I am of course prepared for any criticism this post will encounter,
    but I spark a debate by implying “real women know how to cook.” I
    stand here to say that Wives /Ladies who don’t know how to cook are
    Lazy personified which is why I wrote this with a very strong
    convictions and reasons both biblical and societal.



    I find it very irresponsible that some women go to the salon or visit
    friends for a whole Sunday to gossip and cannot find time to prepare
    those Meals that can make a Man Sneak From A Football Match Just For A
    Bite.



    You will agree with me that there are women over 19 who do not know
    how to prepare Good Meals, but can dance to different kinds of music
    in clubs. I mean, a Woman Should Learn How To Cook Before She Can
    Taste Alcohol Or Bend Over In Clubs.



    The bigger scandal is that women born after 1980 cannot prepare proper
    meals to sustain a marriage. Now we have a generation of men who will
    never know the healthy and spiritual benefits of a proper homemade
    meal.



    Back in the day, women were expected to know how to cook. We can thank
    the almighty social media for exposing us to the over sharing of
    personal information. I have witnessed women brag about not knowing
    how to cook. And some of them take pride in being modern women who
    went on to obtain “DEGREES” instead of learning to bake. I’ve also
    been no stranger to bearing witness to full-blown debates between
    women who could cook versus the women who couldn’t.




    Lets Get Back To History
    At least one common cause of the housework gap can be traced back to
    childhood chores. A variety of studies have found that girls are asked
    to do more work around the house than boys. One study found that girls
    did two more hours of chores a week while boys got twice as much time
    to play. This dynamic carries a lesson for both genders: girls learn
    that housework falls on their shoulders, and boys learn that girls
    will clean up after them.



    Biblically
    It is indeed true that most religious and traditional doctrines
    stipulate that the man is head of the family and the woman should be
    submissive. But we both know domestic laziness does not make the man
    head, just as ability and willingness to cook does not make the woman
    submissive.



    Anyone who eats should be able and willing to cook. It’s only fair that way.



    Pastor Adeboye said to rapturous applause.



    "Don't marry a woman who can't cook," "A girl who cannot cook will not
    be a good wife."
    Same way "Don't marry a man who has no job…A man is to provide for the
    house, not the other way around."



    What Does It Mean To Be A Woman?
    Being a woman is more than biology, and maybe it even goes beyond
    critically looking at gender as a social construct.



    A Lazy Wife - Wives Not Cooking & Doing Domestic Chores Is A Sin of LAZINESS



    You come home from work to find piled up dishes from dinner the night
    before. Clothes are everywhere and nothing in the house has seemed to
    move while you were gone – including your wife. Your wife says “Honey
    I don’t feel like cooking – how about you run and get us some
    takeout?”



    While both genders struggle with all types of sins including LAZINESS
    there are some sins that are more prominent in one gender over the
    other.  For instance men often struggle with having a lack of empathy,
    grace and mercy in their personal relationships including their
    relationships with their wives and children. But on the other hand,
    one of the greatest struggles for many women is the struggle against
    the sin of laziness.



    The reason for this is because women can often times allow themselves
    to be completely controlled by their emotions.  For many women if they
    feel like doing something then they do it and if they don’t feel like
    doing something then they don’t do it whereas most men are creatures
    of duty so whether they feel like doing something or not men will do
    their duty.



    Imagine that your son or daughter left their bed a mess and left toys
    and clothes all over their room. Would you go in and make their bed
    and clean up their clothes and toys? If you did this would this be
    showing your child kindness, empathy, grace and mercy? I think we
    could answer this question with a resounding “no”.



    Why? Because if we go and clean up their room we are not teaching them
    that it is THEIR responsibility to clean their room. We are in essence
    enabling the sin of laziness in our children when we allow them to
    keep their rooms messy.



    But somehow our modern culture has a different standard when it comes
    to a woman keeping her home which is something the Bible clearly
    commands:



    “4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their
    husbands, to love their children,



    5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own
    husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” – Titus 2:4-6 (KJV)



    “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide
    the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak
    reproachfully.” – I Timothy 5:14 (KJV)



    The Bible says
    “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head
    of the church” (Ephesians 5:23) and Christ tells us regarding his
    churches that “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous
    therefore, and repent.” (Revelation 3:19).



    PLEASE NOTE - Disability Is Not The Same As Laziness



    Now I need to stop here and give the obvious exceptions. If your wife
    is sick or somehow physically unable to keep up with the affairs of
    the home then this is not a matter of laziness on her part but rather
    the inability to do these things. In this case God has called us as
    husbands to lovingly step in and aid our wives.




    Traits of a Godly Wife



    1) A Godly Woman Always Seeks to be Modest in Her Dress - Then out
    came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty
    intent. (NIV). (Proverbs 7:10)



    2) A Godly Woman Always Seeks to be Holy in Her Conduct - Come, let's
    drink deep of love till morning; let's enjoy ourselves with love! My
    husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey… (Proverbs 7:18
    - 29, NIV)



    3) A Godly Woman Seeks to Care for the Home - She seeks wool and flax,
    And willingly works with her hands. (Proverbs 31:13, NKJV) She manages
    her home well (Titus 2:5.) She loves to tangibly serve others with
    food and skills. She has a home that is open and hospitable and she is
    given to ministry to the sick and needy and less fortunate.



    4) A Godly Woman Seeks to Serve Others - She also rises while it is
    yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her
    maidservants. She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out
    her hands to the needy. (Proverbs 31:15, 20, NKJV) She has learned the
    love of Christ for others.



    5) A Godly Woman Strives to be a Person Who Can be Trusted - The heart
    of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need
    of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life
    (Proverbs 31:11-16).



    6) A Godly Woman Seeks to be Prudent in Financial Matters - She
    considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard.
    She makes linen garments and sells [them,] and supplies sashes for the
    merchants. (Proverbs 31:16, 24, NKJV) She is a saver not a spender.
    She can see beyond today alone.



    7) A Godly Woman Seeks to be a Hard Worker - She girds herself with
    strength, and strengthens her arms. She stretches out her hands to the
    distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. (Proverbs 31:17,19, NKJV) God
    puts a premium on hard work and so she moves toward it not away. There
    is no slothfulness, indolence or lack of motivation.



    8) A Godly Woman Seeks to Do the Right Thing and Have a Good
    Reputation - Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among
    the elders of the land. (Proverbs 31:23)




    The level of laziness and dearth of creativity is not only annoying,
    but quite unsettling.



    Even worse, the number of women who know how to cook proper meals is
    on a sharp decline. We now have a generation of millennials who know
    how to mix their liquor punch better than brewing good tea for
    breakfast. Just about the only other thing they know how to dish out
    is fruit salad (in which case three-quarters of it will be watermelon
    and paw-paw, which are really terrible fruits).



    Now, the only place the newly-married man can go for a proper meal is
    at his mothers or his favorite aunt’s place. That is where his best
    meals are served, yet he is married, pays rent and even has children.
    #Ojoka #GodForbid



    I find it very irresponsible that some women go to the salon or visit
    friends for a whole Sunday to gossip and cannot find time to prepare
    those Meals that can make a man Sneak From A Football Match Just For A
    Bite.



    Now to Men; There are many POTENTIAL reasons that might lead to Wives
    Not Cooking. What doesn't change is how you could be handling this.
    Start picking up some of the slack. Take over dish duty and vacuuming.
    It sounds like she usually exclusively takes care of all domestic
    duties, but you are a partnership.



    SHE IS YOUR WIFE, NOT YOUR MOTHER
    You bear some responsibility in
    helping keep a tidy home, and food to eat. If she is Choosing To
    Strike, showing her you notice and care will make a difference. If she
    is depressed, showing her you appreciate and care for her will make a
    difference. If she is ill, showing her you care for her and can pick
    up the slack will make a difference.

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